Category: issue 6

I rise from my spot by the window in Room 126 of the Sunny Glades Home for Health and Rehabilitation. The sun set an hour ago, so it’s no great loss. My front paws extend, claws out, before I shift my weight forward and kick out each hind leg. I don’t have the range of motion I once did — everything creaks and clicks now — but since the moment I selected my first feline host, I found there is nothing quite so satisfying as a good stretch.

The following emails were recovered from the personal computer of Phil Hastings, CEO of Updraft PR, in connection with the Silver Bullet train incident. They document one half of a chain of correspondence between Hastings and Updraft COO Stan Wheaton. Hastings’ computer was seized from his penthouse after he fled to the Cayman Islands. His current whereabouts are unknown. Wheaton surrendered peacefully to the authorities and is currently awaiting trial.

Don’t forget to Stymph at us using the hashtags #NextToNyx #TheMoreTheFerryer to win your next #PickUpStyx ride free!

I’m a girl with a reputation for being kidnapped. It’s my schtick you see. Last week, it was Frogman, stealing me away to his lilypad lair. Two months ago, Regis Studios paid me to sit captive for a guy dressed as a slug in a B-grade doozy. And don’t get me started on Big Ape II.

Welcome to Tele-Sympathic space, buddy. My handle is Bee_Balm_Bergamot. What’s yours?

Leffah’s name was on everyone’s lips, whittled in black and purple like a bruise. None of us Shapesayers can speak it; hence she can’t be unmade. She glides into our clearing and only comes here for two reasons: to whittle words into our bodies and demand narratives from us.

In the bright rays of dawn, Princess Andelusia entered her small kitchen and donned her apron. The first order of the morning would come soon.

A new &collab notification dinged just as Betto was about to close their Estate for the day. It was past 7pm. Betto had been at their desk since 5:30am for a meeting with the Middle East !Finance team. Once you received the notification, &collab was not something easily ignored. I.O.8 tracked notification deliveries. No way Betto could claim they hadn’t seen it.

Listing: One unicorn saddle, made of purple vegan leather and embossed with pink rhinestones spelling “Emma”

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not one of your wishy-washy “sympathetic” villains, alright?